How I Built My Self-confidence

Self-confidence is something that I used to MAJORLY struggle with. It can be challenging to live in a world that's constantly telling you that you need to be something different, but putting in the effort to build your self-confidence is so worth it. As I've learned from my own experience, this can truly change every aspect of your life.

How I Built My Self-confidence

I started from rock bottom, as I once believed that I was never good enough. I know how powerful our inner voice can be. Now, I stand as a very proud, strong and confident woman. I've lived through dark struggles and made it out to the other side, and because of this I'm able share my journey with you, as I know this is a topic that so many people have issues with.


The struggle is REAL when it comes to self-confidence, but I know that if I can completely change the way I see myself, you can too.


This post isn't so much about body image, but if that's a challenge of yours, I recently wrote a post about how I learned to love my body.

As always, I'm only speaking from my own experience here. It's my hope that you find these 5 tips for how I built my self-confidence helpful, and that they'll get you started on your own journey towards creating a life that you love, where you're completely comfortable in your own skin.

Being truly confident in who you are is something that we all have the right to experience.


How I Built My Self-confidence:


1. It Starts With Your Inner Voice

Building self-confidence truly starts with becoming aware of the stories that we tell ourselves. In the past, I found that I would put myself down every single day by telling myself that I wasn't good enough/strong enough/worthy enough…the list goes on and on.

Eventually I became so tired of those stories. They drained me and left me feeling empty.

Maybe you're feeling the same way right now. The good news is that you can change all of that. It starts the moment that you decide that you're ready.

My husband can tell me every moment of every single day that I'm good enough/smart enough/loving enough/etc.… but none of that truly means anything until I BELIEVE it.

This journey begins with awareness, and when you notice those negative thoughts coming on, start re-directing them towards something positive. It's not always easy, and it may feel silly or strange at first, but it gets easier and easier with practice.


2. Learn Who You Are

My self-esteem was once so broken, but I learned that this was because I connected who I was only to what I was on the outside, not the inside.

It's taken me my entire life to learn who I am, and quite frankly, I'm still learning. 

I'm a wife to an incredible man, a dog-mom to the two best pups around, a daughter, a sister, a friend, an athlete, and the owner and creator of a business that I'm so proud of.

While all of these are things that I absolutely LOVE, the truth is, because they exist physically, any and all of them can be taken away from me in the blink of an eye.

This isn't something that's easy to face, but this is why it's so important to learn who you REALLY are inside.

I've learned to connect who I truly am to things that CANNOT be taken away from me, so that if life ever feels like it's crumbling around me, I still have these qualities that I know FOR SURE.

For me, I know that I am loving, generous, kind, incredibly driven, mentally strong, and very resilient. None of these qualities can be taken away, because they live inside of me. They make me who I am.

Begin learning who you are today. Take this into action by writing out what it is that defines you. Write it all out, and put a star next to the ones that can never be taken away. When life is challenging, look back on this list, and know that this is your truth.


3. Get Outside of Your Comfort Zone

This one is HUGE. One of the biggest pieces in building my self-confidence has been pushing myself outside of my comfort zone. Getting outside of your comfort zone can mean trying something new, speaking up for yourself, and asking for what you want/need. As with every other step that I've listed here, this becomes easier and easier with practice.

I played it safe for the majority of my life, but I've now learned that change never comes from staying inside my comfort zone. From my own experience, I've found that there is no better feeling than accomplishing something that I really want.


4. Focus on Your Own Goals

It's easy to think that everyone else is living a perfect life, while we feel like we're the only one failing…at basicallyyy everything. Social media plays this up big time, as you'll often only see the highlight reels from people's lives.

This isn't true or real. We ALL struggle.

As I've learned, especially with having an online following, I cannot please everyone. I'm totally okay with this.

You may come across people who don't like you, people who try to make you wrong for the mistakes you've made in the past, or people that simply try to bring you down. You can choose to let those people get to you, or you can choose to simply let it go.

Other's opinions of you do not have to become your reality.

I've learned that the less I care about what others think and the more I focus on my own goals, the more I accomplish in life, and the happier and more confident I become.


5. Practice, Practice, Practice… and Then Practice Some More

In order to change your life, you absolutely have to take action. This often happens outside of your comfort zone. No one else can do it for you. Building self-confidence is not an on/off switch, as many of us would hope.

Becoming the confident woman that I am today didn't happen overnight, but putting in the effort and dedication to changing how you see yourself is more than worth it.

I still struggle some days with self-confidence. Life is a JOURNEY, and the more I accept that challenges are simply a part of life, the easier the challenges become.

You get this one life, and it's your choice how you're going to use it. 

The more you know who you are and what you want, the more self-confident you will become.

I believe in you, even if you don't believe in yourself just yet. You got this.

3 Responses

  1. […] wrote in my self-confidence post the importance of knowing who you truly are, because that can never be taken away from you. What […]

  2. Tina
    | Reply

    Great points, Kristen! I've learned that when I quit letting others define me and my life, the more happy and confident I became. This article is so true! Thank you for more motivation!

    • livinglovingpaleo
      | Reply

      Such a great point, Tina! And SO true!

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